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Is it True That Less Sleep Equals Less Sex?

Are you experiencing a decline in your sexual desire and struggling to find that spontaneous rush of wanting to make love? We have 7 smart hacks for you that address the often ignored fact of how a lack of sleep can affect your journey of love, passion, and intimacy, and how you can remedy it.
A couple sleeping in their bed.

Does Sex Mean the Same to Men and Women?

Emma and James have been together for five years and share a deep love and affection for each other. Like many couples, they have faced challenges in their sex life.

Lately, Emma has noticed a difference in her desires compared to James. She finds it perplexing when watching romantic movies or explicit scenes where the characters seem to have a sudden and overwhelming urge for sex in unexpected places like the kitchen table, bathroom, or car. She used to worry why she didn’t experience that spontaneous desire for sex as frequently portrayed in movies as the ideal or only kind.

Instead, her desire would grow, and she would start feeling sensations of tightening and tingling after engaging in sexual activity with James. Often, her desire seemed to align with her ovulation cycle. Emma found herself agreeing to sex when James had an intense and sudden desire, seemingly out of the blue.

To Emma, it seemed like James had a strong and sudden switch-flipped desire for sex. Whether he was sitting at his desk, walking down the street, preparing dinner, or even witnessing an intimate moment between two people, the thought of having sex would abruptly enter his mind out of the blue. Once his desire for sex was sparked, his penis would become erect, and he would actively seek ways to fulfill his sexual needs.

If Emma was present, they would engage in sex together. However, if she wasn’t around, James would masturbate. Emma found herself a bit puzzled by her own patterns of desire and occasionally felt frustrated when she didn’t experience that spontaneous urge like James did. Instead of waiting for it to magically appear, she made a decision to take control of the situation.

Which Path Brings More Sexual Arousal: Responsive or Spontaneous Desire?

Seeking guidance, she consulted a sexologist who explained that what she was experiencing was called “responsive desire.” In her case, arousal would only occur after manual, oral, or rubbing stimulation. The sexologist reassured Emma that having responsive desire was perfectly normal, and many people experienced it. There was no one-size-fits-all scale, nor distinct categories of “male” and “female” desires.

She came to learn that What James experienced was known as “spontaneous desire,” where he would pursue sex out more actively, and get aroused more quickly. Excited to improve their sex life together, Emma sat down with James and shared what she had learned. She explained the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire and reassured him that her desire for intimacy was still strong, but it just manifested differently.

Can Mindful Connection and Communication Ignite Desire?

James listened attentively and appreciated Emma’s openness and willingness to explore this topic. Together, they created a more intentional and mindful approach to their sexual connection. They set aside specific time for intimacy, free from distractions or obligations. Emma dedicated time to think about sex, allowing her mind to wander into passionate thoughts. She also found that masturbation, could awaken her desire.


To set the mood, Emma and James started curating a playlist of music that made them both feel sexy and sensual. They would play it softly in the background as they prepared for their intimate time together. Sometimes, they even watched movies that evoked a sense of arousal, gently stoking the flames of desire.

Communication became the key to their newfound sexual connection. Emma and James openly discussed their desires and preferences, encouraging each other to express their needs and wants. They discovered that understanding and responding to each other’s desires created a deeper sense of intimacy and satisfaction.

Exploring Intimacy and Satisfaction in Relationships!

In their journey to revitalize their sex life, Emma and James also embraced mindfulness. They practiced being fully present with each other, focusing on the sensations, emotions, and connection they shared in the moment. This helped them overcome distractions and brought them closer together during their intimate encounters.

As Emma and James continued to explore and grow in their sexual connection, their efforts paid off. Their sex life became more fulfilling and passionate than ever before. But now and then, they might encounter a time when their sex drive experiences a decline.

They discovered that cutting back on sleep had a noticeable impact on their libido. In particular, James found that he ejaculated prematurely every time after a sleepless night. Emma, on the other hand, noticed that her overall sexual drive and genital response got affected when she didn’t get enough quality sleep.

Understanding the connection between sleep and their sexual health, they made a conscious effort to establish a consistent sleep routine and create a sleep-friendly environment that promoted restful nights.

As they started getting sufficient sleep, Emma and James experienced positive changes in their libido. They found that their sexual desire increased, and they were able to fully enjoy their intimate moments together.

Sleep Loss is a Common Libido Killer!

Studies have shown that serotonin also plays a role in regulating sleep and emotions. Sleep deprivation can affect the expression and sensitivity of serotonin receptors, potentially impacting ejaculation control. Additionally, sleep deprivation has been found to interfere with the reproductive system and sexual behavior in animal studies, including ejaculation function.

Based on these findings, it is hypothesized that sleep may be closely related to the control of ejaculation in the brain, and sleep disorders could be a risk factor for premature ejaculation.

In simpler terms, premature ejaculation is a common issue among men, and it can be divided into lifelong and acquired types. Studies suggest that disturbances in the brain chemical serotonin, which is involved in both ejaculation control and sleep regulation, may contribute to premature ejaculation. Sleep deprivation can affect serotonin function and interfere with sexual behaviors. Therefore, sleep problems could be a risk factor for experiencing premature ejaculation.

Here are 7 tried-and-true methods from Myfat Diet that can improve your sleep quality and, as a result, enhance your sexual experience:

Practice sleep meditation, explore the sex-meditation connection!

There is a relationship between meditation and having sex because both involve taking time away from daily obligations and routines. Engaging in sex and practicing meditation can both provide a means to free the mind from the stresses of daily life. They both also encourage cleansing the mind of superfluous thoughts and deep diaphragmatic breathing, allowing you to focus on the present moment. Both sex and meditation can help to relieve your mind from the strains of daily living. Here’s one such for you to follow along with:

Spend 10 to 15 minutes focusing on maintaining your calm and being in the present. By taking a moment to relax and reflect, you can help your body generate the relaxation response. The simpler it is for you to fall asleep at night, the more frequently you can train your body to activate this relaxation response.

Get More REM Sleep for More Morning Woods!

Throughout a normal night, you can get 4 – 6 REM sleep episodes (dream phase), which happen around every 90 minutes. When you are in the REM (Rapid eye movement) sleep, your eyes move quickly behind closed eyelids and your dreams become more vivid. Morning erections, also called Morning Wood (due to increased blood flow to the penis) is more likely during REM sleep. The clitoris can also become engorged with blood and erect. It’s a perfectly natural phenomenon and tends to last for a few minutes after waking up. Interestingly, skipping REM sleep may boost your appetite the next day in addition to decreasing your sex drive. So, be wary!

A very long or very short Sleep Latency affects your performance in bed!

A long sleep latency is when it takes more than 20 minutes of tossing and turning before you finally nod off. Long sleep latency is a sign of stress or poor sleep habits like late-night screen time or evening caffeine intake. You likely have a short sleep latency, if you fall asleep in the blink of an eye or if you find yourself nodding off while not wanting to. It’s a sign of exhaustion, and you may need to get more sleep.

A late-day nap lasting longer than 90 minutes can interfere with your sex life!

The time that you stay awake creates a phenomenon called “strong sleep drive.” The more time you spend awake during the day, the more you crave sleep at night. If you are sleep deprived from binge-watching a new series the night before or if you’ve been working nonstop and feel pretty freaked, a quick nap can be refreshing and productive. Nevertheless, if you take a nap after 2 or 3 pm, you disturb the build-up of your sleep drive, which leads to poor quality nighttime sleep. Early to mid-afternoon (before 1 p.m), is the best time to nap.

Actually, a brief shut eye (10 – 20 minutes), makes you feel less groggy upon waking. It improves attention, alertness, motor function and memory, for at least two hours afterward. Naps that last longer than 90 minutes could be called “a second sleep,” and can leave you feeling foggy-headed when you wake up.

A weak sleep drive can affect your sex drive!


If you spend two hours sleeping late on a Sunday morning, you won’t be able to build up a strong sleep drive, which could result in insomnia on Sunday night. Even if you try to go to bed two hours earlier that night, it will still take you longer to fall asleep. Especially if you have a Monday morning work deadline, you might be tossing and turning and feeling angry.

Exercise Regularly, But Not Right Before Bed!

Your brain produces epinephrine when you exercise. Like coffee, epinephrine is a stimulant that keeps you alert. It pushes the heart into high gear and raises the heart rate. If you’re planning to work out at night, engage in light to moderate intensity exercise. Aim to finish your workout at 60 – 90 minutes before bedtime. This will give your body ample time to relax. You might have quicker onset of a better sleep. Those who exercised at roughly 7 a.m. reported better sleep, since exposure to morning sun triggers the production of more melatonin at night.  

Don’t Cross Your Safe Caffeine Limit!

Reduce caffeine, including coffee, tea, soda, chocolate, and energy drinks. Try drinking half-caf coffee or switch your second cup of tea to herbal instead of regular. Caffeine has a half-life of up to 6 hours, hence it takes about 3 to 6 hours for caffeine to leave the body. So, don’t drink coffee 6 hours before going to bed. Less than 400 milligrammes per day, or about 4 or 5 cups of coffee, is regarded as a safe dose according to FDA recommendations .

Talk to Your Doctor

Go to a sex therapist, a male sexual health endocrinologist, or a mental health expert who specializes in sex and relationship issues if you are unable to pinpoint the precise mental, physical, or social issue that is messing with your sex drive.

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